Anonymous wrote:
Everytime we talk about money we start to fight so I have pretty much avoided that lately. How can I get her to listen to me without causing a big argument?
Money problems are one of the biggest causes of marital trouble so it's important to communicate. Unfortunately that in itself can be a problem if you aren't trained in the art of communication. Here are two suggestions I have found helpful:
1) Find the right time to talk about money - bringing up spending issues when you are already in the middle of an argument can be hazardous to your health. But that's often when one partner brings it up. Try scheduling a specific time to talk in a peaceful and non threatening way.
2) Learn to listen before you speak - often times we are so busy trying to get our point accross that we don't really listen to what the other person is saying. I know in my own life I often was thinking about what I was going to say next instead of listening to my wife while she was talking. And I noticed she would do the same. We both would get mad at the other because we didn't feel like we were being understood and that just made us argue our point more, rather than looking for solutions.
I'm just the Debt Doctor, not a marriage counselor but I know this worked for me, I hope it helps.
